Being Christmas

I've been a mom for 18 years, and of those 18, I have been a single parent for 14.

That is 14 years of running a household by myself on one income. Managing the mental load, the school load and my own workload, completely alone.

And that also includes... doing (and being) Christmas alone. The big day🧑🏻‍🎄. The most wonderful time of the year. All the task organizing, on my onesies in my onesie.

Now you might be fooled into thinking this is going to be a woe-is-me tale, about how I struggled financially to help my children have a magical Christmas (which I’ve done, and I know I’m not alone in that: every single parent I know, and even some two-parent households, have had to stretch themselves to make the magic happen. I once took a job counting paintbrushes in Homebase to be able to pull out the Santa stop here sign), but today I'm talking about being Christmas in general, alone.

✨That magic✨ It doesn't fall from the sky (or chimney)...

Can we even say how exhausting it is to think of all the gifts for all the people? The decorations (which you’ve to lug from the attic on your own), the wrapping, the hundred school events, the Santa visits, the food, the chocolate and the lil pest elf on the shelf... and that’s not even considering the expected matching pj’s, and Christmas Eve boxes that have solidified their place in festive spirit.

I am tired of it. I want an out. Ok that's dramatic... I at least want a plan for managing being Christmas. I don't want to lose my holiday spirit, and get visited by 3 ghosts telling me to change my ways, or my kids will end up hating me or in therapy because I'm such a Grinch(but then again, green is my colour🤔...)

If your with me and don't want to pour from an empty Baileys glass, read on...

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How to be the Christmas magic (and not lose your yule log 💩in the process) recipe:

Ingredients:

🎄1 permanently exhausted single parent (preferably you)

🎄A sprinkle of lowered expectations

🎄2 heaped scoops of “No, we’re not going to every Christmas event just because other families do”

🎄1 sturdy back for dragging boxes from the attic

🎄A handful of guilt-free shortcuts

🎄A reminder that stress usually comes from two things: under-preparation and overwhelm... and since you’re already overwhelmed (hi, welcome to the club), you may as well try to remedy the other one

🎄A gentle promise to start gifts early and small, so December-you isn’t panic shopping

🎄A dash of perspective for when you see people online who look like they have their shit together (they absolutely don't)

🎄1 unapologetically nice gift purchased for yourself

🎄 And a pinch of humour and a whole lot of kindness for the human running this festive circus

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Method

1. Start by turning down the heat on perfection.

Lower the pressure to Pinterest Level: Zero.

Your kids do not care about curated holiday aesthetics or that the entire house doesn't have Christmas bedlinen. They care that you don’t scream at the wrapping paper.

2. Add in early and small prep.

Sort gifts in November if you can. Better yet sort gifts in Jan, but November is good for this year!

The goal here is to just save your future self from a meltdown in a car park if possible.

3. Mix in only the events you actually have the energy for.

Other families might be operating like Christmas is a competitive sport. It's a lot to keep up with, all the Christmas concerts, plays, Santa visits and Christmas Market days... You also absolutely don't have to commit to them all, especially if you are disregulated. Staying home in fluffy socks might just save your kids from meeting real life Krampus.

4. Sift out comparison lumps.

When the perfect matching PJ's online families pop up on your feed for the 5th time in a day, gently remind yourself:

"That photo could be the only tidy ten minutes they’ve had. And it could've taken 400 takes and 3 meltdowns to get there"

5. Mix in time for yourself.

Sit. Breathe. Hide. Lock the bathroom door.

Wrap gifts while watching trash TV... Or don’t wrap anything at all. Get tinseled up at your work Xmas do and act like you don't have kids for a night 💃🏻

You’re allowed to exist as a person in December. You aren't just Santas workshop

6. Generously season with boundaries.

Say “no.”

Say “no thanks.”

Say “absolutely not.” to things that overstretch you even more in December in terms of chores and work. No overtime if you can manage it. It will be a busy enough period for you!

Say “kiss my candy cane" if you have to 🍭

7. Stir in the truth gently: you are doing the work of an entire festive village.

The magic doesn’t just happen.

It’s built by your tired hands, your late nights, and your mental load.

If things aren’t perfect, that means that you are a human doing the work meant for more humans, you are not failing.

8. Finish with your gift.

A REAL gift.

One that makes you feel special.

Wrap it, hide it, open it dramatically on Christmas morning. Show your family that you think highly of yourself and that everyone, including(especially*) you, deserves something nice.

Bonus ingredient🥧 Having a Christmas Tradition Is Good for You and Your Kids

Even small, low-effort traditions give children something both powerful and wholesome: stability. A predictable moment each year tells them:

“This is our thing. This is safe. This is home.”

Most of us have those heartwarming moments of Christmas growing up, where we barely remember the presents under the tree... But we do remember the smells of the kitchen, the songs on the radio, and the Christmas traditions we had. And re-imagining that not only makes it personal to your family but it's truly the most magical element of the holidays in my eyes✨ ✨

Happy festive meal prep,

🎄🥧

Love, K xxx