The Sisterhood Effect: Why Women’s Connections Help Us Live Longer

We’ve all heard the phrase: “Find your tribe.” But the research is showing that that sentiment is actually suggesting more than buds to share cocktails with. What if having a tight-knit circle isn’t just emotionally feeding us, it might extend our lives?

1. Centenarians and the Long Life Connection

When researchers study “Blue Zones”, the regions of the world where people regularly live past 100, one theme appears again and again: nobody is doing the hundred year hurdle alone. Whether it’s the small villages of Okinawa, the close-knit communities of Sardinia, or the daily coffee meetups in Ikaria, centenarians are deeeeeeeply embedded in social networks. They also hold purpose-filled roles within their communities, whether that’s tending a garden for a neighbour, hosting lunches, or offering wisdom to younger generations. And a 2023 review of longevity research found that strong, consistent social ties were as significant for lifespan as quitting smoking or maintaining a healthy weight. In fact, isolation was linked to a 29% higher risk of early death, a statistic that might explain why those thriving into their hundreds rarely live without a social circle.

(PSA:🐎🧍🏼‍♂️ I always associate the word Centenarian(A person who lives past 100) with a Centaur(The mythical half man half horse)… and images of elderly horse people always makes me laugh. anyone else? Just me? O.K Then)

2. Social Bonds in Our Hearts…(Literally)

So from this research, its only natural to suggest that our friendships and meaningful connections aren’t just fun… they’re life-extending. A recent study found that women with at least three friends they confide in privately had nearly 30% lower risk of cardiovascular disease, even a lower dementia and stroke risk, compared to those without such connections The Daily Telegraph. In other words, your girl squad and your group chat might literally be the best medicine!

3. Venting as Medicine

This information isn’t new to me personally, I can attest to the many times my friends or even co-workers have helped me feel better just from ✨existing✨, but recently I’ve noticed the influx of conversations of the benefits around the subject. And if you reaaaalllllyy think about it? Ever had a rant session with your bestie and felt instantly lighter afterward, even if your initial problem isn’t solved?

That might be more than cathartic release of tension, and talking therapy, girl. Venting to a trusted friend(*hard emphasis on the trusted here*) can strengthen emotional bonds and make us feel seen and validated. Annnnd, one discussion found that when women vent without aggression, it makes listeners more supportive and increases trust, instantly making both participants cortisol lower, and providing physiological health benefits Reddit. A two for one delight!

3. Big Girls (+ Boys) Do(+ should…) Cry

I can’t even dispute this next fact, women cry more than men.

I agree with this with my whole chest, because I’m a self-confessed-no-apologies-made cry babyyyyyy. The good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, maybe even the mediocre… depending on the day of the month: straight to tears for me… 

Be it hormonal, or just carrying more empathy in our arsenal (or some could even say the societal stigma around constipating male emotional expression has an influence as well…), but girls just tear up more and bonus points, with our mirror neurons, they cry together more too...

I came across an interesting theory that emotional tears fall more slowly, because they have a higher protein count, affecting velocity. There is a biological nod as to why this happens: the slower the tear fall, the more chance it will be noticed by others. We are social creatures and it would only make sense in nature, that we require connection in tough times. We cry for food and nurture as babies, and females are hardwired to answer this call instinctively. Observers also perceive a tearful person as more trusting, friendly, and worthy of help, and feel more connected to them PMCSpringerLink. Rather than repelling, tears draw others in, especially from other women, activating the parasympathetic nervous system(helping us feel safe), and adding time our lives in the process. Crying from emotion act’s almost as sort of social glue. Its giving major, “The Drunk Girl in The Bathroom Saved Me” comfort….

4. The Biochemical Bond: Tend and Befriend

Under stress, many women naturally seek connection rather than withdrawal because of a mix of biological wiring, evolutionary survival strategies, and social conditioning. From a biological perspective, researchers have documented what’s called the “tend-and-befriend” response, largely driven by oxytocin (the so-called bonding hormone) and everybody’s monthly glow up girl, estrogen. Instead of defaulting to the fight-or-flight pattern more commonly studied in stress research, many women respond by nurturing, caregiving, and forming alliances. It makes evolutionary sense: in early human communities, building and maintaining relationships increased safety, protected children, and improved access to shared resources.

Culturally, many women are raised with values of collaboration and communication over isolation. While this can sometimes lead to over-giving(looking at you self-sacrificing mamas…), it also means that when times are tough, the instinct is often to reach out instead of retreat. This “tend-and-befriend” response, driven by oxytocin and our glittery-and-stereotypy instinctual social caregiving systems, soothes us emotionally and physiologically and puts us in a position of shared ideology Royal Society PublishingWikipedia.

When we come across another female who has been through a similar situation as us we want to befriend them and help them, because we would also like that for ourselves.

5. Girl Math

The theme of this article can be articulated(quite generally too, it's well known writers aren't amazing at math 🫢) in our own version of Fountain of Youth Female Friendship Algebra:

Connection + trust + calmer body + safer environment = less muscle tension, chronic pain, mental illness, stroke and heart attack and… you guessed it, longer life 👴🏼

It is important to note that these benefits relate to any trusted circle(some of my most supportive female confidants are in a professional manner💼).

Social, familial and professional support is easier to find now online, so for help finding your girly group:

1. ✨Define your group goal – Career, personal growth, business, or social support.

2. ✨Ask your existing network – Friends, colleagues, PTA groups.

3. ✨Search online – LinkedIn, Facebook Groups, Meetup, Eventbrite.

4. ✨Find local events – Women’s business centers, chambers of commerce, community workshops.

5. ✨Join industry associations – Women-focused chapters in your field.

6. ✨Start your own – Invite a few women with a shared interest to meet regularly.

Find your tribe, it might just save your life 💅🏼

Love, K