Hey Girls – A Heartfelt Note to Our Mum Community

Hey girls,

I just wanted to take a moment to write this blog, because lately I've been receiving so much heartfelt feedback from our beautiful mum community. It’s become clear that so many of us are navigating different, often difficult, seasons of life and most of the time, we have no idea what the person next to us is truly going through.

We have mums in our community who have lost their husbands, who are going through the pain of heartbreak or divorce, who have suffered the unimaginable loss of a child, or who are caring for seriously ill family members while trying to keep it all together. These struggles are immense. They’re real. And they deserve to be acknowledged.

Especially as mums, we carry so much often more than anyone sees. We’re expected to keep the home together, provide for our children, be emotionally stable, and keep smiling. And that’s why I wanted to write this to remind you that you’re not alone.

The Seasons of Life We Never Expect

Grief, Loss, and Unseen Struggles

Grief doesn’t have a timeline. Whether it’s the loss of a partner, a child, a parent, or even a life you once envisioned, it can feel like the world is moving on while you're frozen in time. What makes it even more challenging is that, as mums, we often don’t have the luxury to stop and grieve fully. We still need to make meals, pack lunches, and show up even when our hearts are breaking.

From Bereavement to Divorce: Life's Unexpected Turns

Life rarely goes the way we plan it. Whether you're facing separation, divorce, or a sudden change in family dynamics, these transitions can shake the ground beneath you. Sometimes, we’re forced to let go of people we never thought we’d lose, and that pain can be just as raw as any bereavement. The emotional toll is real, and it’s okay to admit that it's hard.

When You're the One Holding It All Together

Being “the strong one” in your family is both a blessing and a burden. You might be the go-to for your kids, extended family, or friends but who holds you when it all gets too much? Many of us are carrying so much behind closed doors, and yet we still show up every single day. That silent strength is powerful, but it shouldn’t be lonely. You don’t have to carry it all alone.

The Weight We Carry as Mums

Being the Provider, Protector, and Everything in Between

There’s an unspoken expectation that mums must wear all the hats breadwinner, homemaker, emotional support, teacher, chef, chauffeur, and the list goes on. We juggle so much without a break, and still feel like we’re not doing enough. This invisible weight is real, and it’s exhausting.

Why Self-Prioritisation Often Feels Impossible

When you're constantly pouring into everyone else, there's little left for you. Taking a moment for yourself can feel like a luxury, or even a selfish act. But here's the truth: looking after your own mental and emotional wellbeing isn't selfish it's essential. You can't pour from an empty cup.

Emotional Labor and Unacknowledged Effort

So much of what we do as women and mothers is emotional labor remembering appointments, anticipating needs, managing feelings, holding everyone else together. And often, it goes completely unseen and unappreciated. It’s no wonder we feel drained. This unseen work deserves recognition, especially from ourselves.

Can You Really Heal When You're Still Caring for Others?

Healing While Parenting – Is It Possible?

Parenting doesn’t pause for pain. You’re still making breakfast and checking homework while holding back tears. It may feel like healing has to be put on the backburner, but small steps matter. Healing doesn’t require perfection. It just requires presence and permission to feel what you need to feel.

The Myth of "Moving On" and What Healing Really Looks Like

Healing isn’t a destination or a checklist—it’s a process, and it’s messy. You don’t have to “move on” in the way society expects. Maybe healing looks like laughing again, writing your feelings down, or even just surviving the day. Give yourself grace in the in-between.

The Pressure to Be Okay for Everyone Else

One of the hardest parts of healing while parenting is feeling like you have to keep it together for your kids. While it’s natural to want to protect them, it’s also powerful to show them what resilience looks like. Being honest about your feelings (age-appropriately) models healthy coping and emotional intelligence.

Finding Strength in Sisterhood and Support

Why Our Mum Community Is So Vital

There's incredible strength in knowing you're not alone. When women come together and share their stories, it lightens the emotional load. Whether it's a group chat, a community forum, or even just one supportive friend, being seen and heard is deeply healing.

The Importance of Talking Therapy, Coaching, or a Friend

Sometimes the best thing you can do is talk it out. Whether it's with a therapist, coach, or trusted confidant, speaking your truth out loud can be a massive step toward healing. You deserve the space to explore your feelings without judgment.

Letting Go of Those Who No Longer Belong in Your Story

As painful as it is, part of healing is accepting that some relationships are meant to end. Letting go doesn’t mean you failed it means you’re growing. And in making space, you open the door for new, healthier connections to enter.

Small But Powerful Tools for Emotional Wellness

The Power of Journaling Through Pain

You don’t have to be a writer to journal. Just put pen to paper and let your heart speak. Journaling can help you process emotions, reflect on your healing, and release pain—especially when you can't say things out loud or to the person you wish you could talk to.

Mindfulness, Self-Compassion, and Presence

You don’t need hours of meditation to be mindful. Just a few intentional breaths, a quiet moment in the morning, or pausing to acknowledge your feelings can make a world of difference. Give yourself grace, gentleness, and compassion.

Building Daily Wellness Habits Even in the Chaos

Wellness doesn’t have to mean spa days and silence. It can be 10 minutes of reading, a walk around the block, or listening to music you love. Small, consistent habits nourish your spirit and remind you that you matter too.

Redefining Resilience – It’s Okay Not to Be Okay

You’re Allowed to Struggle and Still Be Strong

Struggling doesn't make you weak. It means you’re human. And showing up in your life despite the struggle? That is strength. Your resilience is not in pretending everything is fine—it’s in being honest and showing up anyway.

Accepting Life’s Redirections Without Shame

Sometimes we find ourselves in situations we never asked for. Life redirects us, and it’s natural to feel resistance or shame. But know this: every redirection carries the potential for transformation. You haven’t failed you’re simply being rerouted.

Supporting Each Other Through the Unspoken Battles

We all fight silent battles. The more we support and uplift one another, the easier those battles become. Offer a kind word. Check in on a friend. And most importantly, don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

Final Thoughts – You Are Not Alone

Your Pain Is Valid

Whatever you’re going through, it matters. You don’t need to compare your pain to anyone else’s to justify it. Your experience is real, and you deserve to take care of yourself through it.

We’re In This Together

Being a mum, a woman, a human it's hard. But the beauty of community is that none of us have to walk it alone. Let’s hold space for each other, encourage one another, and create an environment where healing is possible.

Healing Comes in Seasons Too

Just like life, healing has its seasons. There will be days when you feel strong and days when it all feels like too much. Be gentle with yourself. Trust that healing is happening

even when it doesn’t look or feel like it.

FAQs

1. Can I really heal while still taking care of my kids? Yes, healing while parenting is challenging, but it’s possible in small, consistent ways. Acknowledge your feelings, seek support, and allow yourself grace.

2. How do I prioritize myself without guilt? Start with small, meaningful acts of self-care. Remember that when you care for yourself, you are better equipped to care for others.

3. What if I feel alone even in a community? It’s normal to feel isolated during tough times. Reach out, be honest, and connect one-on-one if group settings feel overwhelming.

4. Are there simple tools I can use for emotional wellness? Yes! Journaling, breathwork, taking short walks, talking to a friend, or even five minutes of quiet can significantly improve your emotional state.

5. What should I do if I feel stuck and unable to move forward? Talk to a professional if possible, journal your feelings, and lean on your support network. Sometimes, acknowledging you're stuck is the first step to moving again.

Love The Solo Mum Club x